"make dinner not war" sticker courtesy of the fantastic Jenny... and you could win one too...We've had some pretty stellar family dinners of late...but they had nothing to do with the actual meals we've made.
Actually, they were in spite of the food, which has been pretty routine and uninventive... Let's just say our current repertoire is heavy in such mundane standbys as spaghetti and meatballs and "taco night" (and not "chic tacos", but the old school ones-- a little meat, a little cheese, a little lettuce, a crispy corn shell. The tacos of our youth. I'm not proud, but it is what it is.)
So the meals not so great, but the meal-time, pretty darn good.
We made a decision early on that we wanted to eat dinner as a family at the table at least five nights a week. It wasn't an easy decision to make or more accurately, it wasn't an easy decision to stick too; it was actually pretty easy to proclaim... See sticking to it means that sometimes we eat at 5:30, because the girls are going nuts with hunger, and if there isn't food on the table at exactly that moment (which we've affectionately dubbed "the witching hour") then surely all hell will break loose. Sticking to it also means that up until recently, (if I'm being perfectly honest here) meals are often...well, a total nightmare. Eating with small kids is hard, and messy, and hard.
Did I mention it was hard?
But, as with a staggeringly large number of kid-related experiences, one day you wake up, and well, it's not so hard anymore. All the gnashing and agonizing pays off, and it's suddenly how you thought it would be when you made that original (smug) proclamation.
And that's pretty much where we are when it comes to meal-time these days. On a typical night (and yes, there are still some exceptions when dinner is all world war II -esque) we wait for everyone to sit down at the table before anyone takes a bite (which is especially hard for Millie, but she still pulls it off sweet girl) and then we start off each meal with a little ritual -- a blessing, the clinking of glasses and a hearty "bon appetite." Everyone eats quietly for a few minutes (ok a few seconds) and then we go around and each say what was best about our day. I know, I know, it sounds a little Normal Rockwell, but it's happening. I promise.
Sure there's still chaos -- taco meat on the floor (the shop vac makes an appearance after every. single. meal.), someone screaming, someone getting up from the table repeatedly for more milk, a bathroom trip, an impromptu dance...It is not perfect, but it's good. In fact, so good, that with each passing meal I can see ever more clear glimpses of what dinner might look like in say five years.
And that I'm really excited about.
Because I work oftentimes till quite late the dinner altogether doesn't work that well for us, but we try very very hard to do this on Saturday and Sunday lunch, and we have similar rules. I agree it is hard but then all of a sudden it starts working more often than not and all the persistence is worthwhile. xo
ReplyDeleteOh yes, we try the family dinners - with - toddler too! I like the idea of talking about the good things that happened ... might have to start that :)
ReplyDeleteRelaxed dinner make the best family get-togethers, specially if you play some games afterward.
ReplyDeletefamily dinners are so important...though tonight my kids ate cereal and I ate leftover pizza and dad was out. most day sit i better than that.
ReplyDeleteThis was perfectly put. We had one of those family dinners that just went so swimmingly fairly recently. I told my family at the end that this might just be my version of heaven. There were "mmmm"s and no one argued and I was just full at the end. It felt wonderful. It makes all the chaotic attempts leading up to it so worth it.
ReplyDeleteA lovely little post. With many things that sound familiar!
ReplyDeleteI love our family dinners. We've made that time a priority too, even if it's just a hamburger and corn on the cob. It's definitely not a Rockwell painting with my kids picking at one another, but there are pockets of peace and good conversation in there, and a chance to give thanks for blessings. Definitely a "tradition" we're gonna hold on to.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to say "I told you so!", just think it :) Miss you guys!
ReplyDeleteHear, hear!
ReplyDeleteFamily dinner was a fixture for both my husband and I when we were growing up, so we're shooting to do the same with Mary Clare. And while our toddler is doing more food throwing than dancing, and we use a Labrador Retriever in place of a shop vac, it's still pretty nice.
i concur. it is so freaking hard and i only have one right now. but, it's so rewarding when your two year old joins in the dinner conversation just to be part of the group. i love it. i look forward to cooking for him and he actually wants to eat it.
ReplyDeleteJust this week my 13 year old decided she wanted to start cooking. Night before last she made scalloped potatoes, yesterday lunch she made quesadillas, and last night she made pasta alla carbonara. Now this is something to look forward to, Joslyn! (Hope it lasts...)
ReplyDeleteMy son's preschool had some seminar evenings, I participated in one discussing 'dinnertime' (due to some major issues we were having involving a lot of yelling and crying). Mainly the psychologist said the point was to offer healthy food choices, let the child choose their own food (out of the healthy choices), and then the primary goal was to just have a pleasant family experience. It was just what we wanted to hear, I think. Sure there is still the impromptu dancing, getting out of the chairs, and some poking or silliness and such, but it is so much better. I really believe in it, a family dinner time, with the main focus on the family rather than the dinner. (Sometimes hard to keep in mind as the chef!)
ReplyDeleteoh i love that sticker lol xxxxx
ReplyDelete